Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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