is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
