The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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