garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
