I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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