$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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