that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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