dude i'm inner monologue high
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
