Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
