put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
