Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
