After last night, I could never be a politician.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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