Ambien. No doubt about it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
