Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
