i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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