If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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