Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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