It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
