The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
