i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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