Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
