weddingsv make me drug and hornr
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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