i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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