I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
