STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
