well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
