i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
