There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
