Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
