I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
