Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
