I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
