i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
