11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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