party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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