Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Panties = found
Randomize
