john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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