You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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