I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
