hotel room ftw
it hurts more in the daytime
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
