She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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