omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
