How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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