ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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