If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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