I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
