you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
