The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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