So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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