i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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