he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
