that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
