Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
